Archive for December, 2009

Christmas Clubbin’

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

sirena serpentina

Ho!  Ho!  Ho!  The Knolls Ranger was brushing elbows last Thursday at the annual holiday community party at The Petroleum Club.  We witnessed fine fire dancing from Sirena Serpentina’s troupe, danced to the beats provided by DJ Blair’s Brother, auctioned off a brick, and even Kris Kringle flew in from the North Pole for the occasion.  But the highlight came when I arranged to have my winter coat shorn by Brenda and her Barber Salon buddies later this Spring over at Brenda’s Hair by Design on 414 Business Street.  Photos coming soon!

The Knolls Ranger Makes His Theatrical Debut!

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Grade A Schmacting From a 200 Year Old Pod Person

“Alas!  Poor Yorrick, I knew him…”  Weeeellll, it might not have been Shakespeare (I’m still holding out hope that Dennis McCourt over at LB Shakespeare will ask me to play a role in their February production of Macbeth.  Could you imagine me in my gold boots, and cowboy hat double, doubling, toiling and troubling.  I think I would make a fine weird sister) but I was thrilled nonetheless when The Garage and Alive Theatres‘ asked me to be in their annual season show Christmas at The Ivanovs.


“It’s really a walk on role.”  Said Alive’s Associate Director Jeremy Aluma over my patented Ranger telecommunications transmitter. 

Alive Theatre Associate Director Jeremy Aluma

“We did it with Smolarcorp over at The Good’s Gallery last year and this year we’re doing it with the Garage Theatre down on 7th and LB Boulevard.  I know you tend to stick to Bixby Knolls Mr. Ranger but would you consider this cameo?”

“What’s the part entail?”  I asked.

“Well you bring a Russian prisoner onstage with The Easter Bunny, a gorilla, a ninja turtle, and about twenty other odd characters.”


“And then?”

“And then you exit.”

“I’ll do it.”

The show debuts on the 18th and 19th of December at midnight.  It has dancing giraffes, former child actors, exploding heads and gratuitous nudity.  You know, all the things that make Christmas great.  Photos courtesy of Jonathan Lewis.


Merry Christmas Bixby Knolls!

Friday, December 4th, 2009

District 8 Board Shop and Boutique

It’s Christmas at First Fridays!  Fa la la la la, la la la la!  Howdy ho Bixby Bandits, it’s the Ranger here letting you all know about the holiday harmony he partook in at the latest First Friday!  Whether you were a proponent of Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, or anything in between (I fancy a good Winter Solstice celebration myself) there was something for everyone to enjoy this December on Atlantic!  And enjoy they did, the streets were teeming with egg nogg soaked citizens chanting this cacaphonous cry, “Now bring us some figgy pudding!” At first I thought I would have to regulate but then I was informed that this was merely an old Christmas tune.

The festivities started outside Nino’s Italian Restaurant where our 2nd annual Christmas tree and Menorah lighting ceremony took place.  Hot chocolate was flowing, carolers were singing, Blair Cohn of the BKBIA looked primed to cut the roast beast!  And merriment abounded!  Myself and two of my sturdiest Buckaroos flipped the switch bathing the Atlantic cooridor with light.

The Ranger at Nino's

From there it was a simple matter of catching up with all of my Bixby buddies.  The District Weekly was playing DJ at The Factory.  I had to snap this pic, grateful as I am to the paper who named me best super-hero last October.

DW DJ'in'

Mike the Poet and friends were roving the streets outside of District 8 Boardshop and Boutique.  I joined in for a rhyme.

Band of Poets

And Santa Clause was everywhere from Eat, Play, Grow, to Vannie Oggs Photo Booth, to The Expo Furniture Warehouse.  At first I was alarmed, but then I remembered that this was the elf who delivers presents to every child’s home in just one night and it all made sense.  I sat on his lap each time (you can never get too much Santa Clause)!