Posts Tagged ‘Ryan Smolar’

The Ballad of Bixby Belle!

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

Well howdy do kiddies, it’s your old pal the Knolls Ranger getting’ ready to spin you one of my world famous yarns.  Now thissy here one’s near and dear to me for it’s all about a literal doll by the name o’ Belle who happens to be my best gal.  My heart beats three times what the docs say it’s supposed to when she shows up on the Atlantic Cooridor grinning pure as pudding and waving that cowgirl hat of hers around.  I’m real thankful she’s back in my life and thought y’all might like to here the story about how she came to be.  It all has to do with magical LA river run-off, the Dooley family, and the simple beating of two hearts.  But this ain’t the kind of tale one just tells alright, heavens now, a story this splendiferous can only be sung.  So without further ado I give you the whopping’ campfire song, The Ballad of the Bixby Belle as composed by country western legend Steamboat Smolar and best appreciated when sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies.

Come hither, take a listen

to a sordid type of tale

’bout a misses supersticious

that we call the Bixby Belle


Her origins are well known

from here to Belmont Shore

it all started in our Lord’s year

around 1954


Her friend, the Knolls Ranger

got Belle as a reward

from Mrs. Dooley’s doll collection

when he washed and waxed her Ford


The Knolls Ranger carried Belle

almost everywhere he went

with a notable exception

when he gave her up for lent


One day, trouble came a-brewin’

for the Ranger and his gal

They were by the LA River

when the Ranger tripped and fell


He tried to correct his stumble

but the pavement he did meet

while the doll fell in the river

the Ranger scrambled to his feet


After Bixy Belle had fallen

our Hero dove right in

To save his dear companion

and to be with her again


When the Ranger found Belle

he was surely quite surprised

for the magic of the river

put a sparkle in her eyes


Our Belle, now a real girl

she was no longer a doll

she could talk and think and yodel

and go shopping at the mall


Now the Bixby folks all rejoice

to have a super homespun team

the Ranger and Bixby Belle

are as sweet as peach ice cream

I credit all the sweetness to my wonderful girl, the apple of my life, the eye of my light!  Why just take a gander at her humble and benevolent being.

Knolls Ranger Interviewed by the Uptown Gazette

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

In the Press Again!

The Uptown Gazette flung a few hard balls my way and also spoke with Ryan Smolar and Blair Cohn about Long Beaches one-and-only superhero!  Read the full article here.

The BKBIA Annual Members Meeting

Friday, February 19th, 2010

BIA Community Liason, John Royce and the Ranger

The purpose of the Bixby Knolls Business Improvement Association is to promote the interests of its professional, service and retail members, to enhance the common areas within the BIA area, to facilitate the exchange of business information and ideas, to promote the highest business and ethical standards, and to eat the most crispy fried mini-wings it possibly can.  Or so appeared to be the case last night at the annual meeting for residents and members of the BKBIA.  The ranger was there of course, bumping elbows with everyone from Smolarcorp’s own Ryan Smolar to Uptown Animal Hospital’s Dr. Katie Marrie.  The Anne Walsh band played an assortment of danceable diddies, The Petroleum Club staff served some mighty fine sasparilla, and a fine time was had by all.

The Anne Walsh Band wails

Here are a few of the fun ventures in store for the future of Bixby Knolls, as laid out by Executive Director and Tattoo leg guru, Blair Cohn:

The Signal Hill Petroleum Lot 33 is set to be beautified by Boy Scout Scott Eastman!

Cal Trans approved the installation of two freeway signs declaring, “Bixby Knolls Next Two Exits”!

There is talk of adding a community garden to the 3300 block of Atlantic!

And last but not least, Blair and his bro want to have a tubular 80′s dance party!

Bodacious Blair in the tubular 80's!

Bodacious Blair in the tubular 80's!